#flashfiction
Everyone remembers the first time they traveled. Trying and exploring someplace new is always exciting. When that someplace is actually in a different time your adventures become exponentially more exciting. For you, first-time time traveler our intrepid chrononauts have assembled the top 10 destinations to make your first vacation through time one that you’ll remember forever.
#10 –Woodstock 1969
Considered by some to be the ultimate concert experience. While some argue that Yellowstone Supervolcano-palooza is much wilder and explosive, for the novice traveler it is a bit tricky to time slip away before the volcano explodes at the end of the first set. As for Woodstock it is a longer more satisfying experience: sex, drugs, and rock and roll – nuff said.
#9 – United States, The Old West
Imagine watching the pioneers slog westward in their covered wagons. Gunfights in the streets between drunks and cowboys. See the spectacle of an actual Indian massacre. Then balance the scales by watching a Cavalry massacre. If you’re lucky you might even get to see an authentic old west hanging. We do recommend avoiding Tombstone in the summer months, novices always underestimate the heat as compared to the current global ice age.
#8 – Ancient Egypt, c. 2500 BC
Camp with your welcoming Bedouin hosts and watch the first layers of the Great Pyramid set in place. Witness thousands of workers moving enormous stones that defy the abilities of any technology prior to the current era to move. Travelers purchasing the Immersion Experience package will have the chance to move pyramid stones of their own with the aid of discrete grav-plates. Join the thousands of other happy tourists who have participated.
#7 – Whitechapel, London 1888
Imagine strolling through the famous London fog. Experience the thrill of watching ancient Londoners barter for goods and services. Follow in the footsteps of Jack the Ripper as he terrifies the citizenry. The perfect Halloween vacation jump to a historic spot that now can only be visited by submarine.
#6 – Lakehurst Maxfield Field, NJMay 6, 1936
One of the most desirable destinations for aviation buffs is the site of the LZ 129 Hindenburg disaster. You’ll chronoport in, as the craft approaches the field. Join the crowds to watch the huge airship glide majestically through the sky. You’ll marvel that people used such enormous, combustible conveyances. Stay for the marshmallow roast later on.
#5 – RMS Titanic April 14, 1912
Nothing says luxury vacation like an ocean cruise. You’ll arrive the night before the Titanic is scheduled to strike an iceberg. You’ll be accompanied by expert guides who will help you identify the culprit iceberg. Novices are often hard put to notice such a tiny iceberg compared to those to which they are accustomed. Party like a rock star but make sure to get out before there’s nothing but ice in your drink
#4 – Atlantis – 20,000 BC
Visit the famous sunken continent at the height of Atlantean culture. The second most famous sunken island after Great Britain this hotspot of culture and art is a favorite with artists for the stunning examples of extinct Atlantean art. Visit the temples, enjoy daily human sacrifices, partake in a culture long forgotten. Leave your clothes at home though, Atlantis is a no-clothing culture.
#3 Nazca Desert, Peru 500 AD
The Nazca lines are a historical mystery that have confounded generations of historians. Visit the newly carved giant images and lines. One would think it would be easy to learn why they were made but the natives are conspicuously absent every time an outsider arrives. Will you be the chrononaut who learns what the heck was going on? If you’re lucky you might get a chance to see one of the infrequent UFOs often spotted over the site.
#2 – Nuremberg, Germany 1935
Those ancient Germans knew how to host an event. Join the enormous crowds, Have an authentic beer. Get to be an extra in the film Tad der Freiheit: Unsere Wehrmacht. Ask your guide about the Take a Shot at Hitler package. Can you be the one to kill the famous villain? You’ll probably fail (everyone does) but what a story to share with the grandkids after you get back.
And the #1 destination for first-time time travelers:
#1 – Rome, Height of the Empire
Imagine it: gladiator fights, Christians and lions, orgies, vomitoriums; ah the glory which was Rome. You’ll be able to see ruins gloriously intact and observe the Roman Senate rule. If you time your visit right, you can watch the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. For anyone who was alive to see Vesuvius II which destroyed half of Italy, this smaller eruption will be an interesting footnote in your travel journal.
I know, you’re asking: Why just visit ancient civilizations? Why not see the dinosaurs, or hang out with famous people?
Really, would you rather party at a Roman bacchanal or get eaten by a T-Rex and then smashed by a comet?
As for famous historical figures; they tend to be a lot less exciting in person than the history books make them appear, you’re better off with the coliseum.
Sign up now for your chrono-tour; spots are filling up fast.
Sponsored by Chrononautica Travel Agency
